Yolk Gotta Be Kiddin' Me!

So today was one of the hardest days i've had in a while.

i had to meet with a new doctor today, a type of doctor who always seems to have bad news. A nutritionist. See i'm 5'8" and i'm only about 102. which isn't good. my goal is around 117, but its really hard to put on weight. especially on a vegan diet.

which is why the doctor pretty much told me that no one was forcing me to do anything but my options were death or temporarily incorporating animal derived proteins into my diet.

wow.

what do i even say to that? i started bawling. but what can i do? its not just her opinion, all of my doctors have told me the same thing.

after meditating on the subject a lot (read:A LOT) i came to this conclusion:

my veganism is based on the Buddhist philosophy of Ahimsa. Which basically is that if you can live you life without interfering negatively with that of another (human or not) then you should do so.

the only way i've been able to reconcile my physical and ethical needs lies within the first few words of that sentiment. "IF you can live your life"

i have come to a point where i cannot live my life without causing some interference with another's.

so i went to our local health foods co-op and bought cage free, wild grass and seed fed whole chicken eggs. i know eating an egg is like sucking on a tampon, but whatever. its like fear factor. its something that i just have to do right now.

and they included a brochure about how the chickens lived and i swear, they have a sweeter pad than me.

Oh yeah did i mention today my dad and brother were shitting on me, i bruised my metatarsal so i can't run for at like a month (SHIT), i no longer have my shitty car, my dog shit in my room (on my sleeping bag no less), and the toilet is backed up (more shit)? yeah. shitty day.

but i grew so much today. i'm totally proud of how i handled every situation, i was respectful and honest and have no regrets. its unfortunate that these changes to my diet have to be made but you know what, nothing is forever.

and to leave you on a good note, i may get a job being a climbing guide at Climb Aloha, so i'm really excited about that.

there's always a silver lining :)
keep on keeping on & love always
nichole